1. Don’t waste time being fearful: go for that job that you’re certain you’re not gonna get. What’s the worse that can happen? You are rejected, but you gain interview experience. Self-doubt is really a waste of time.
2. Live in the present. Yes, it is important to plan for the future, but it is easy to put off living until it is too late. Make sure that you have no regrets about what you should have done. Do one exciting thing per year.
3. Know your worth. This applies to both work and relationships; never sell yourself short. No job or romance is more important than your self respect. Also, charge for any unique skills/services that you can offer.
4. Don’t be afraid to leave bad situations. I left a stable but draining teaching job in order to protect my mental health. Even though this was a big risk, it was the best decision I ever made. NOTHING is more important than your mental health.
5. Most 20 somethings feel that they are underachieving. This is normal - especially in today’s financial climate. Don’t feel bad if you are still living at home and cannot afford to rent/buy. I’m 30 and still living at home, saving to buy.
6. People will disappoint you, but most of the time, it’s not about you. Everybody has their own demons and traumas that make them behave in certain ways. If somebody disrespects you, assert your boundaries and keep it moving. Also, examine if there was anything you could have done to avoid the situation. But DO NOT let it eat away at you.
7. In love, nobody owes you anything. Even if they made a promise, they are their own person…Everybody has the right to change their mind and to leave a situation which is not beneficial for them. This is hurtful and hard to accept, but it is the truth.
8. Learn to enjoy your own company. Your 20s can be a lonely time as your social sphere narrows, due to employment, finances and exhaustion. Use this time to find out more about yourself and do the things that you enjoy. There is something liberating about eating at a restaurant alone.
9. Be kind, don’t gossip or overshare. I am still working on this one. It is really difficult to be kind and positive in a world full of annoying people. However, your attitude will influence how you are being perceived. If you are unkind, people will laugh at your jokes but they will never trust you. They will never trust you not to treat them as you treat other people. Remove yourself from toxic people, and only share negativity (sadness/anger/depression) with a therapist and one other person that you trust. If you overshare negative feelings, you may be stereotyped as being full of drama. Furthermore, people will want you to stay in a negative place because it’s entertaining and makes them feel better about their own lives. Just don’t do it.
10. You cannot win every battle. Within conflict, it is tempting to try to force others to agree with your perspective. However, most people are set in their ways, and find it difficult to change their views and behaviours. This is especially important when dealing with toxic family members. You may never get the apology and empathy that you seek, so it is important to accept that every battle cannot be won, and gain validation internally, rather than externally.
the entire issue i have with labels like pansexuality and polysexuality are the fact that they were born out of a complete misunderstanding of what it means to be bisexual…which is why every time i say that pansexual and bisexual are the same thing people flock to my inbox to tell me that “bi means two” or “bisexual means you’re only attracted to TWO GENDERS” as if i’m not quite literally a bisexual woman. and quite frankly it’s alarming to see people parading around under the false impression that their sexuality is inherently more inclusive and therefore better than bisexuality because they refuse to brush up on the history of bisexuality itself.
i really don’t give a fuck what people choose to label themselves as. that itself is not the issue. but to me every time this conversation comes up it becomes more and more clear to me that a lot of these people have a pretty skewed and fucked up idea of what it means to be bisexual and they don’t really care to remedy that…instead they’d rather tell bisexual people that they’re defining their own sexualities wrong and that they’re “probably pan” or that they’re somehow spreading misinformation or being inflammatory by correcting people who are actively spreading harmful and biphobic rhetoric…i have to laugh.
if you’re well aware of the fact that bisexuality can and often does encompass any and all genders and that pansexuality and bisexuality overlap, and you still choose to identify as pansexual, i really couldn’t care less. good for you. once again MY biggest issue lies in the fact that a good chunk of these people just don’t have a clue what they’re talking about when it comes to bisexuality or bisexual history. and if you took a minute to actually like…read about it or talk to an actual bisexual person without completely invalidating them then maybe you’d realize that these two identifies do in fact overlap and what you choose to call yourself is a matter of personal preference (or something, i guess lmao.) pansexuality is not inherently more inclusive than bisexuality. bisexuality is not defined by an attraction to “two genders”, but rather “attraction to genders both like and unlike your own.” there are tons and tons of trans people who are bisexual. please open a book for once instead of getting all of your LGBT history lessons from tumblr.
